1. Ukulele is not pronounced yoo-koo-lay-lee but oo-koo-lay-lay. It means jumping flea.
2. You are not allowed to drive over the central line in the road under any circumstances. If you do, someone may shop you to the police.
3. Hawaiian police are very friendly once you get on to the topic of the Royal Wedding.
4. Bread is very expensive in Hawaii. As much as $5 for a bog standard, supermarket sliced loaf.
5. Lava rocks do serious damage when you scrape yourself on them.
6. There are no roundabouts in Hawaii.
7. White sand beaches in Hawaii are created when Parrot fish crunch up dead coral in their beak-like mouths then poo it out. Insert your own joke.