Today is our last day at home.
We’ve spent years dreaming, months organising, the last few days frantically clearing, cleaning and packing. We’ve said goodbye to all of our best friends and most of our family. We’re ready to go. I think.
We’re excited. We’ve looked at the Disneyland website and decided which rides we can’t miss. Though I’m gutted that ‘it’s a small world’ is closed for maintenance, I had a vlog planned and everything. We’ll just have to go in Tokyo.
But we’re also antsy, unsettled, nervous of what is to come. Ned is dissolving into tears at tiny things, Dickon is throwing extravagant tantrums in supermarkets. It’ll do us all good to get going and into the swing of things. The uncertainty is difficult.
I feel like a tightly wound spring, with coils of excitment and anxiety fighting in opposite directions. I can’t shake the feeling that if I allow myself to relax, something will go wrong. I still can’t quite believe that it’s going to happen, that I’ve pulled it off.
I just want to get on the plane.