Time travel

16 Jun

I’m at a crossroads.  The past is behind me, the future in front.  When I dreamt up the idea of going travelling, we were in the thick of the baby and toddler stage.  It was inconceivable that the plan could be put into action before we’d reached the promised land of beds not cots, pants not nappies, walking not buggies.  We would wait until our babies were no longer babies, then we’d go.  It has been something that’s consumed my dreams, kept me going through the long sleepless nights.

Almost three years down the line, the toddler is almost six and the one year old is about to be four.  He’s mostly dry at night, sleeps in a bed, walks or rides his bike everywhere.  He can talk in complex sentences, make jokes, spell his name and climb trees.  No one except his own mother would call him a baby.

For the last eight and a half years my life has been defined by my babies.  My days have been filled with nappy changing, breastfeeding, pushing swings, putting down for naps, Cbeebies.   As I lived the last eight and a half years it’s felt like they lasted an eternity, at times it seemed hard to believe that I’d ever come out the other side.  I wished my time away.  But as I stand at the crossroads, I realise they years have passed in the blink of an eye.  With each new baby, time sped ever faster, and now it’s gone.  I’ll never get it back.

I have much to look forward to, in a few short months we shall be embarking on a wonderful adventure, one that we wouldn’t be able to do if our babies were still babies.  And I can’t wait.  I can’t wait to see volcanos and glaciers, to lie on beaches and trek through jungles.  I can’t wait to enjoy spending  long day after long day with my husband and children.

But part of me wishes I could go back and start at the beginning.  To have my time again.  I don’t necessarily want to do things differently.  I would just like to stop and take notice, to pay attention.  To hold my babies once more.

This week I chose prompt three for the Sleep is for the Weak writing workshop, “What’s your magical power? Or what would you like it to be?”  I would like my magical power to be time travel.

3. What’s your magical power? Or what would you like it to be?

32 Responses to “Time travel”

  1. jfb57 16/06/2010 at 3:52 pm #

    …but you might decide not to do it after all!

    Lovely post!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:27 am #

      Thank you x

  2. Sharon 16/06/2010 at 4:23 pm #

    Make the most of the time you spend with them on your travels, remind yourself of how quickly time goes when you’re all falling out with each other in some remote place! Soon enough they’ll be gone altogether – say another 8 years – and then you can plan a trip just for you and your husband!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:28 am #

      It was your post about time the other week that really struck a chord, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

  3. Heather 16/06/2010 at 6:59 pm #

    I challenge my kids to this question and “If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?” After they answer, I challenge them to explain why. It’s makes them think outside themselves while playing. Speaking of magical powers.. It’s taken me a while to arrive here and as amazing a time travel would be, I would like to be able to speak any language, fluently. Wouldn’t that make traveling so much easier and fun?

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:29 am #

      Speaking any language would certainly be great!

  4. eggscreamandhoney 16/06/2010 at 9:51 pm #

    I am so with you on the whole time travel thing Victoria! My Motherhood post is all about losing those wonderful years with your babies. But the adventure you have waiting for you is going to be such a brilliant chapter in your lives. I can’t wait to sit here and read all about it.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:29 am #

      I shall go and have a look right away!

  5. Sandy Calico 16/06/2010 at 10:40 pm #

    Thank you for reminding me not to wish my life away. Yes everything will be easier with beds, pants and walking (or bikes), but the cots, nappies and buggies are really not that bad.
    Lovely post.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:26 am #

      There’s a lot to be said for small cuddly people.

  6. mummylimited 17/06/2010 at 8:06 am #

    They are still pretty young though so perhaps it is a good thing that you’ve come to this realisation now and certainly it will make you treasure your days with them on your trip.

    Lovely post

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:26 am #

      It really will. If I’m having a bad day, I’ll try and remember to look at this post.

  7. Cheeky Wipes Helen 17/06/2010 at 10:42 am #

    I have literally got an ache in my chest from reading your post. It’s the first time I’ve come across your blog and your trip sounds amazing.

    My husband and I have talked about travelling with our kids – specifically we wanted to kick-start a RTW trip with taking the kids on safari which is what we did for honeymoon and was just amazing.

    However that will be a few years in the future – my eldest has just turned 6 and my youngest is 20 months, so I’m thinking that 3 years time would be perfect (and would co-incide with our 40th birthdays…what a way to celebrate!)

    I’ll definitely be back to check up on your progress (but not in a stalker-ish way!)

    And I’ll enjoy the bum-wiping, snotty cuddles and poo-ey pants while they last!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 11:25 am #

      What a lovely comment, and don’t worry, I like stalkers 😉

  8. scribblingmum 17/06/2010 at 8:12 pm #

    That last line! How true but it made me feel all choked up. I’m going to go upstairs and kiss my babies. If I wake them it’s your fault…

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 9:34 pm #

      Hey, don’t blame me lady! Waking your kids is entirely your fault. Tuh.

  9. Deer Baby 17/06/2010 at 8:43 pm #

    Oh god that last paragraph is a tear jerker! I always spend Thursdays in bits!! You will be creating so many more memories on your travels – you’ll have all that time with them before they get pulled away to school. You’re going to have a great time.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 9:33 pm #

      I am really looking forward to it, but it definitely feels like a time of flux. And I’m not that good with change.

  10. Josie 17/06/2010 at 9:10 pm #

    I think just being able to step back, if just for half an hour would be lovely. You could hold that feeling in your heart of what it felt like. That baby smell. That feeling of being so NEEDED. And then you could travel forward again to now.

    You have so much AHEAD. So much. Don’t look back too much, because the future is so full of promise and amazing adventure.

    So excited for you.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 17/06/2010 at 9:30 pm #

      Exactly, you get it. I just want half an hour to remember their smell.

  11. scribblingmum 18/06/2010 at 11:04 pm #

    I came back again tonight to read that last paragraph cause I liked it so much 🙂

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 19/06/2010 at 9:00 am #

      Oh how lovely. Thank you for telling me 🙂

  12. Heather - Notes From Lapland 19/06/2010 at 9:32 pm #

    wow, what a wonderful and moving post.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 21/06/2010 at 11:36 am #

      and what a lovely comment 🙂

  13. Rachael 19/06/2010 at 10:10 pm #

    Oh, what a beautiful post. I’d like to pop back for a baby cuddle and a sniff of velvety head, but on the whole I love the freedom that comes with my children getting older. We went on our first nappy free, no pushchair day trip last month and it was heaven.

    The other thing to remember is that they are still very small. Ask the mother of a sixteen year old, and she’ll tell you to treasure them now, too. I try to remind myself of that now and again.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 21/06/2010 at 11:36 am #

      I almost put smell in the last para, that’s what I really meant, but I thought people might thik I was weird.

      • Rachael 22/06/2010 at 7:55 pm #

        Ooh, I am addicted to the smell of newborns, so it wouldn’t have worried me.

        • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 22/06/2010 at 8:13 pm #

          It’s a pretty gorgeous smell, isn’t it?


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