Friendship

23 May

I don’t have many friends.  Not the kind that make you feel cleverer, wittier, nicer, just for being in their presence.  The kind of friends you really worry about when things aren’t going well for them.  The kind of friends that make you glad to be alive.  The kind of friends you’d like to run away with to live in a hippy commune.  Maybe that last one’s just me.  But I have enough.  A small handful that I’ve gathered over the years and held on to with a firm grasp.  Very occasionally I make a new friend and it’s a little bit like falling in love.

So why a photo of my children?  Well, I’m lucky enough to count my brother as one of my best friends.  And I would feel that I had done the best job I could, if my children grow up to love each other in this way.  So far, the signs are looking good.  They are already partners in crime.  They stick up for each other if one of them is in trouble.  They wrestle like puppies for what feels like hours on end.  They cuddle in bed reading stories together.  They spend hours rehearsing plays with numerous costume changes and not much in the way of plot.  They are beginning to understand that you can still love someone even if you don’t always like them.

I’m hoping that a happy by-product of taking them travelling will be a further cementing of their friendship.  I have no doubt that it will not all be skipping and laughter, they are normal children after all.  But nine months of each other’s company without the usual distractions of toys, school and softplay birthday parties will give them a new appreciation for each other.  Either that or they’ll never speak again.  I’m hanging out for the former.

This post was written for The Gallery.  This week’s prompt was ‘friendship’.

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41 Responses to “Friendship”

  1. Gappy 23/05/2010 at 4:46 pm #

    My youngest two are really close aswell. I’m hoping that it’s a friendship that will last them all their lives.

    Travelling together will give your kids so many shared memories. It’s shared memories that can really bond people I think.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 24/05/2010 at 9:47 am #

      I think so too. I wrote a post the other week about my friendship with my brother and how I thought it was because of the long boring summer holidays we spent together at our grandparents house without any toys or TV.

  2. Liz 23/05/2010 at 5:58 pm #

    That’s a really lovely one – your little ones are very lucky xxx

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 24/05/2010 at 9:46 am #

      They really are 🙂

  3. Modern Dilemma 23/05/2010 at 10:43 pm #

    Oh Victoria you made me cry! Like you I hope my kids grow up to adore one another. Unfortunately I do no have great relationships with my siblings for various reasons. You are so fortunate, I envy you. My eldest two seem to spend their lives at war at the moment then surprise me with their love for one another. Perhaps its just their ages?

    Wonderful post.

    MD xx

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 24/05/2010 at 9:45 am #

      Phew! I though maybe I’d lost the plot slightly when I wrote this one. Blame it on going out two weekends running. I can’t take late nights any more…

  4. Pants With Names 24/05/2010 at 9:56 am #

    I found that 2 years away when the boys really only had each other to play with has made them good friends. Apart from when they are fighting, which is pretty often, but no one else is allowed to fight with the other which is a pretty good symbol of friendship no?

    Lovely to have a close sibling bond. Lucky you!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 24/05/2010 at 9:58 am #

      Definitely a sign of friendship! No one beats up my brother except ME!

  5. Nickie (Typecast) 24/05/2010 at 12:37 pm #

    Oh Vic… *blub blub*
    You are giving your kids such an amazing opportunity and I’m sure it will bring them (and all of you) even closer xx

  6. English Mum 24/05/2010 at 1:19 pm #

    Gorgeous! My two are chalk and cheese, but when it really counts, they’re there for each other. Not easy when you’re 12 and 15 (hormones ahoy!). What a lovely bunch you have there, Mrs W. I’m sure the travelling will only bring them closer x

  7. Plan B 24/05/2010 at 2:48 pm #

    What a gorgeous picture and wonderful words! I so so hope my three are like that. At the moment we’re at the snatching and wailing stage, but I live in hope that the glimmers of five minutes here and there where they are all giggling at each other are a sign of wonderful friendships to come.

  8. Paula 24/05/2010 at 5:33 pm #

    I love this, and I love your vision of friendship…it’s a lot like mine. Your children are utterly beautiful, I envy them their friendship 1) because I’m an only child and b) because I seem to be coaching my own in divide and conquer – what I am doing wrong? xx

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 24/05/2010 at 5:44 pm #

      It’s my blog. I am therefore allowed to leave out the bits about hair pulling & strangling. And the wearisome frequency with which I break up fights. Other than that, it’s great!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 24/05/2010 at 6:25 pm #

      My only real tip is to let them trash the house on a daily basis. And then tell them off a lot. They then gang up on me. I’m sure supernanny would approve of my parenting methods.

      • Paula 25/05/2010 at 8:46 am #

        I’m not sure GF or SS would! Have you got a whistle? You really need a whistle….

  9. scribblingmum 24/05/2010 at 8:28 pm #

    My sister is one of my best friends, undoubtably. And I think this is in part due to the travelling that we did when we were young. You become each others partner in crime, security blanket, one constant in changing things all around you. But did I also sit on her and fart until she said I was Queen? God yes.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 25/05/2010 at 1:09 pm #

      I’m very happy to hear that.

  10. Mirka Moore 26/05/2010 at 10:07 am #

    What a lovely post. That actually made me realize how important it is to have sibblings…Thank you 😉

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 10:58 am #

      You’re welcome!

  11. Nova 26/05/2010 at 10:11 am #

    I had the same idea as you, I really hope mine are friends when they get older. Lovely picture

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 10:58 am #

      I couldn’t find any nice pictures of my friends, so it had to be about the children!

  12. nudieprincess 26/05/2010 at 11:55 am #

    ‘Very occasionally I make a new friend and it’s a little bit like falling in love.’ What a lovely phrase. I’m glad you said that, because that’s exactly how I feel when I make a friend that I know is going to be in my life for a long time. As for the sibling friendships, my brother and I are good friends now but we fought like cat and dog when we lived together. I can’t imagine what it would have been like growing up without him though.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 12:47 pm #

      I’m glad it’s not just me! I felt slightly mad and stalkerish when I wrote that.

  13. christinemosler 26/05/2010 at 12:09 pm #

    Gorgeous! Absolutely what I’m hoping for for mine too! We have found that terrifying them on a regular basis on board a yacht has brought them very close together! Adventures are the way to go!
    This made me grin so much my face hurts!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 12:48 pm #

      Thank you Mrs, glad I made you smile. Also glad that shared adversity is the way forward. Makes me feel better about the yelling…

  14. New Mummy 26/05/2010 at 12:44 pm #

    How lovely, I’m really close to my brothers and sisters. I know BG doesn’t have any but I’m hoping she will have a similar friendship with her cousin and my best friends daughter

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 12:49 pm #

      I’m sure she will. My brother and our cousin are very close too.

  15. marisworld 26/05/2010 at 3:03 pm #

    Yes, I agree, my older two had a love hate relationship and have always been there for one another and I hope to create the same for the twins.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 4:36 pm #

      You don’t always need to be in each others pockets, as long as you are there when it matters.

  16. JenC 26/05/2010 at 3:34 pm #

    I did my children too for this prompt lol. I will keep my fingers crossed for the former result for you:) Jen.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 4:35 pm #

      Thank you. I suppose most mothers probably want this for their children don’t they?

  17. Lindsey 26/05/2010 at 3:41 pm #

    This is a great photo! It reminds me of growing up with my brothers… x

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 4:35 pm #

      Long summer days and a hose. Can’t ask for much more.

  18. porridgebrain 26/05/2010 at 3:44 pm #

    I love your description of new friendship. It IS a lot like falling in love. I had that recently with a new friend and it was just like that, with all the awkwardness and obsessing and paranoia and nervous joy!

    Beautiful photo. Your three and so lucky to have each other, and to share the experiences they will have together, just as you and your brother did it seems, is a very special gift indeed.

    x

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 26/05/2010 at 4:33 pm #

      Me too, which is what made me write the post. It was the only way I could think to describe it accurately.

  19. bsouth 26/05/2010 at 8:22 pm #

    I am hoping for exactly the same for my two. My siblings are amongst my very best friends and I’d love it if my children had the same thing. You said it so much more eloquently than me and I love the picture.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 27/05/2010 at 1:53 pm #

      Thank you 🙂

  20. melaina25 26/05/2010 at 11:36 pm #

    That pictures is adorable! This post makes me feel guilty for even considering keeping Blondie Boy an only child though!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 27/05/2010 at 1:54 pm #

      My mother was effectively an only child because her sister was 15 years older than her. She hated it.

  21. bubbleboo 27/05/2010 at 5:03 pm #

    What a great picture! I was an only child, so never had that kind of sibling friendship. I so hope Chipmunk one day has a sibling he can be friends with

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 27/05/2010 at 5:11 pm #

      siblings are great, even if you argue sometimes

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