A lesson learnt

1 Apr

I’m going to Japan tomorrow, I’m going to Japan!  I’m more excited than Baldrick would be on finding an extra large turnip.  I’m finally going to Japan!  I’m 28 years old and I’ve been intrigued by Japan for at least 21 of those years, since I met Ashley aged 7.  She had just moved to London after two years spent in Tokyo and taught me how to count to ten in Japanese.

My interest was further fueled by my parents, who visited in 1973, and have talked about it ever since.  Add in a local toyshop that sold Hello Kitty notepads and regular childhood trips to Japanese restaurants, and an obsession was born.

And now I’m going!  Three weeks in the land of sushi and Hello Kitty is mine!  Thanks to a cheap flight spotted in the newspaper, we are flying to Tokyo tomorrow afternoon.

Just the small matter of packing to sort out.  I’ve been really really busy getting things finished at work, so I’ve left it until the last minute.  No matter, We don’t need to take much, and I’m looking forward to buying new clothes there.

OK, packing done, tickets, yup, Japan rail passes, yup, passports, I’ll just get them from the drawer…

OK, they must be here, check again.  Crap.  Where the hell could they be?  Check again, they’ve GOT to be here.  I remember putting them away myself.

Saliva starts flooding my mouth, heart pounds in my chest, breathing quickens as hot  panic rises through my body.  I frantically search every possible location for our missing passports.  Where are they?  Where the hell are they?  If they’re not in the draw, they could be in that blue folder… No.  Crap.  What am I going to do?

Crap, crap, crap.  Where the crap are they?  I couldn’t have recycled them could I?  Could I?  Fuck.

Steve walks in the door “Hello Sweetheart, we’re on holiday! Did you get everything finished at work?  Are we almost ready?”  “Oh my God, I can’t find our passports anywhere, what are we going to do?”  “Don’t worry, we’ll look again”.

I’ve wanted to go to Japan for 20 years.  I’ve been planning this trip for six months.  Six months of dreaming and waiting and dealing with crap at work all for the promise of this trip.  I’ve never wanted a holiday so badly before.  Now it is about to be snatched from my grasp, it’s loss it a physical pain.  A tightening in my chest, nausea.  Why did I dare to want something so much?  Especially something as trivial as a holiday.  Wanting just leads to disappointment.  I will never want anything this badly again.

What can we do?  Can we get new passports?  My father would know… Yes and no.  We can queue at the passport office tomorrow morning, but our chances of catching our flight are slim.  Can we change our flight?  Maybe. No, they were cheap tickets.  Japan is slipping out of my grasp.  Tears of loss and disappointment run down my cheeks.

“What CAN have happened to them?” Steve asks.  “I think I must have recycled them when I was doing that big clear out”.  “Let’s pull the filing cabinet apart, just to make sure”.  Out comes the drawer where the passports should be kept.  Out comes every piece of paper.  What do we find?

Our passports.

It takes me the rest of the evening to calm down.  I resolve never to want something so badly again, particularly a holiday.  I’m not sure that I’ve kept to that one.

This week, Josie at Sleep is for the Weak asked “When was the last time you really, really wanted something”


24 Responses to “A lesson learnt”

  1. Rosie Scribble 01/04/2010 at 8:06 am #

    Oh thank goodness. You had me stressed there for a minute. Have an absolutely fabulous trip!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 9:05 am #

      Thank you. It was an amazing holiday and well worth the anguish.

  2. TheMadHouse 01/04/2010 at 8:14 am #

    I have experianced the same pain and fear in my tummy at losing the passports, thankfull we found ours 10 mins before travelling and left the house a bombsite to return to

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 9:00 am #

      Sadly we always come back to a bombsite after we’ve been away!

  3. newdaynewlesson 01/04/2010 at 9:04 am #

    LOL-I bet you have never misplaced them again!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 9:20 am #

      I’m now completely paranoid about our passports!

  4. Alex 01/04/2010 at 9:30 am #

    I can empathise. I once took the house apart looking for my wifes passport. It was tucked inside a paperback book, on one of 8 double stacked Ikea Billy Bookcases.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 9:34 am #

      That must have taken a very very long time to find. Are you still happily married?

      • Alex 01/04/2010 at 5:01 pm #

        Tremendously so. I know if I don’t know where something is, its not me thats put it there. That removes some of the pressure 😉

        • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 7:16 pm #

          It’s not generally me who loses things either…

  5. Trish@ Mum's Gone to 01/04/2010 at 10:32 am #

    God I was having a cold sweat just reading that. My husband, thankfully, is very anal about our passports and tickets so I leave it to him. He also packs a fab first aid kit with everything from superglue to worming tablets!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 7:15 pm #

      I’ve heard that superglue is useful for cuts, but I think I’ll leave the worming tablets out. Do you often get worms?

  6. peabee72 01/04/2010 at 5:00 pm #

    Such a horrible feeling and you bring it tangibly to life….. I finally breathed out at the point that you found them.

    Have a wonderful time in Japan, can’t wait to read all about it.


    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 7:16 pm #

      Thank you. I held my breath when I was writing it too.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 7:26 pm #

      We actually went to Japan 10 years ago, so this didn’t happen recently. We are going to Japan again as part of our trip though. I can’t wait. Despite what I said, if the passport incident happened again, I’d still be in a complete mess.

  7. Mummy Mania 01/04/2010 at 7:21 pm #

    Oh you poor thing!!! Still that first in-flight G&T should fix things. Have a wonderful, wonderful time – HOW EXCITING! Looking forward to reading all about it.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 01/04/2010 at 7:23 pm #

      I think I’ve misled you all. We actually went to Japan 10 years ago, so this was something that happened then. It was a wonderful trip. I’ve been a lot more careful with our passports ever since! We are going to Japan next July as part of our round the world trip.

  8. Josie @Sleep is for the Weak 01/04/2010 at 10:10 pm #

    Oh god! Nightmare! I could FEEL your stress.

    So glad you got to go! (Japan on my big list of places I’d love to see too…)

  9. itsmygoodlife 01/04/2010 at 10:31 pm #

    Oh, my heart was pounding as I was reading that. 🙂 Thank God you found them. 🙂

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 03/04/2010 at 2:57 pm #

      I think I’d have been in serious shit if it hadn’t!

  10. Karen @ If I Could Escape . . . 02/04/2010 at 1:22 pm #

    Oh my goodness, you had me worrying and wanting for you!! Have a great time. Would love to see Japan myself one day!

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 03/04/2010 at 2:57 pm #

      It was ten years ago and we had an amazing time. We’re going back next year and I’m SO looking forward to it.

  11. Sarah V. 05/05/2010 at 9:36 pm #

    I feel like I get into a panic everytime we leave to go somewhere. We can’t find something or there’s bad weather that’s messing with our flights, etc., etc. Glad you found your passports!

    Before our trip to Tokyo a few years ago, I couldn’t WAIT to get there! It was worth every bit of anticipation and planning.

    • itsasmallworldafterallfamily 06/05/2010 at 10:04 am #

      I LOVED Toyko too. Every day was a new experience.

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